The Things That Can Be And Go Wrong

A disheveled young man in a stained seersucker suit staggers across the lawn of a large house and collapses into a row of potted plants only a few feet from the front door: “Later that night, after Judge Smails had gone to sleep, Spaulding, heavily medicated and drowsy due to the cold and cough medicine he was swigging at least once an hour, drove to the marina with a bottle of champagne and re-christened the Flying Wasp in honor of his late mother. ‘I christen thee the Helena,’ said Spaulding, who proceeded to drink the entire bottle of champagne and vomit onto the stern of the boat in the next berth over. Driving back to the Judge’s mansion Spaulding wondered if his performance would be deemed null and void in a court of law, and, if so, what that meant about all the horrible things he had done in private and all the nasty words he had spoken to no one in particular. Spaulding knew in his heart that he was not a proper person and because of this nothing he did mattered. It should have been an infernal shame, but it was more of a mockery, and Spaulding shuddered at the thought that he didn’t possess the terminology to cope with the slow motion disaster that was his life.”