Nonvolatile Crystal Embedded Zirconium Dope Half High

Michel Foucault scolds the waiter who has accidentally dropped a tray of cappuccinos all over Foucault’s head, shirt and pants: “You may think you understand why you did that, but you don’t. I, however, know exactly why you did what you did, and my interpretation is not only correct, but will, in retrospect, make you feel small and useless for knowing less about yourself than a stranger does.” A naked man making the peace sign to a group of soldiers runs in circles around a bonfire on to which he periodically throws remnants of his former self, including fatigues, medals, and weapons: “Sgt. Pardee had known of people who had undergone sudden paradigm shifts in their consciousness, but he hadn’t expected to have one himself, and certainly not because one morning he decided to put his pants on left leg first instead of the usual right leg first.” A freakishly tall and thick-boned young woman sits next to her normal-sized parents on a turquoise-hued couch in the middle of an ill-lit, cramped living room: “Marnie had been told all her life that having a singing voice as beautiful as opera singer Wilhelmenia Wiggins Fernandez’s was compensation for being inflicted with Marfan’s Syndrome, but now, at the end of her life, still without a recording contract, she wasn’t so sure.” Johan Cruyff, wearing the orange and white colors of the Netherlands National Team, stands proudly in the middle of the pitch while a stadium full of fans give him a standing ovation: “Besides being the most famous proponent of the philosophy of Total Football – a strategy in which any position can attack the goal – Cruyff also invented a sock that could be worn over your genitals – testicles included – although he refused to refer to the item as a sock, and preferred to call it a sweater instead.” A group of men cluster outside the gates of a shuttered factory located on the outskirts of Cardiff: “Following Berwyn’s incisive analysis, the workers were immediately galvanized into a frenzy of mewling.” An elderly dwarf, trying her hardest not to get stepped on or touched in any which way, shape, or form, wades through a thick stream of commuters at Penn Station: “The mistake all previous architects of genocide have made, thought Robin, was that they did not adopt the flexible management theories adopted by corporations on the cutting edge of  the New Capitalism. If they had been more open to a fluid hierarchal system, she thought while dodging a man pulling a suitcase bigger than her, the end result would have been seen as inevitable, not reprehensible.”

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